So im working on my book today, or trying to...Ive had a late start to the day and I have a Jasper, one of my dogs, whining and carrying on. I dont know what his problem is or what he needs. Ive taken him out twice, fed him, then we played and did a bit of training so hes been fairly active for being awake only about two hours.
Anyway, my issue is that im starting my book over and doing it in novellas instead and the beginning can go one of two ways and the way im doing it right now may just be too honest about my thoughts and feelings right now. Ive always poured myself into my writing and hold nothing back, which is a good thing and in the past ive been complimented on the fact that i tend to say what others would or could not. Problem is it has a situation in it that im still thinking over in my head of how to handle...not a bad thing but kind of unique when it comes to me. Whats worse is i can try to write it all out for the book while im working it in my head but it may take so many directions and im afraid it wont make sense to the readers. Oh well, Ill just see what happens and how it goes...I just hope it turns out good.
Other than that life is going well, i have things coming up im looking forward to. Also as anyone who knows me knows how i am about my dogs, im kind of an obsessive dog parent who puts them before anything else but im my own defense they are Service Dogs and there have been many times that Bones has saved my life and Jasper is in training for just that...and he helped me with a panic attack last night...i know at the time i didnt tell the complete truth about the attack. When questioned i said i didnt know what caused it...Then later on i admitted it was something in the movie we were watching...It was what one of the characters said, it was the same thing my father said to me when he wanted me to take my clothes off for him. Ill never forget those words and i dont think they will ever not make me shake to my core. Im doing okay today with it but i really panicked and had to have Jasper do DPT(deep pressure therapy) for a few minutes. I still today have those words going through my head but im able to stay calm while i process the thoughts of why i still let this bother me 20 years later...
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
frustration
Ive been pondering the past few days/weeks over what to do with my book since i lost soo much work and had to start over a little while ago...so...im completely starting it over. I have the first 2 paragraphs done at this point and also decided to self publish and do novellas instead of one big book. This should make it interesting, but hey, my life is interesting anyway. Take in the fact that my family now consists of 3 people and 3 dogs. The rest of my "family" and such im not going to talk about much here as its all going to be in my books...
Jasper is doing pretty well in his training, hes learning his DPT(deep pressure therapy)very well and knows 3 different ways to do it at this point. Hes getting awesome at his public access training. I retired my Service Dog Bones due to his aging but he still does things at home.
I missed my appointment with my arthritis doctor and had to reschedule it, what sucks is that the earliest appointment they had was october...but ill take what i can get as right now my lupus and fibro seem to be mild in comparison to what its been in the past. Im fairly functional right now as long as i dont let myself run out of spoons.
My PTSD had kicked up full force as of late so i went ahead and scheduled to see my shrink, i dont know if it will help but its worth a chance as my counselor wants to start a PTSD writing therapy thing with me and who knows...it just might help. I hope it does as i cant take the nightmares much longer, or the voices...its not like random scary voices telling me to do things but its my kids calling me or my mother yelling out my name...it really shakes me to my core. Jasper has been helping with it though. he cant read me yet, as far as my different body vibrations and to react without he asking him to but he does do what i need him to and when i need him to and it still makes a difference.
Ill be taking my walk soon and hope to work in some jogging as well, Jasper makes a great partner for this and we are doing our first 5k this month. Im very excited about it, its been a goal of mine for years and im finally getting a chance to do it.
Not too busy of a day today, just doing the normal things and working in more writing and hopefully some crochet as i need to get some things posted on Etsy again. Im wanting to finish my shell pattern afghan and do a popcorn stitch one to post as well. I havent sold any of my crochet stuff in quite a while and need to get things selling, as long as getting my writing selling once i get something finished. I figure if im doing novellas instead i can probably get one out by the end of the month on amazon...
Jasper is doing pretty well in his training, hes learning his DPT(deep pressure therapy)very well and knows 3 different ways to do it at this point. Hes getting awesome at his public access training. I retired my Service Dog Bones due to his aging but he still does things at home.
I missed my appointment with my arthritis doctor and had to reschedule it, what sucks is that the earliest appointment they had was october...but ill take what i can get as right now my lupus and fibro seem to be mild in comparison to what its been in the past. Im fairly functional right now as long as i dont let myself run out of spoons.
My PTSD had kicked up full force as of late so i went ahead and scheduled to see my shrink, i dont know if it will help but its worth a chance as my counselor wants to start a PTSD writing therapy thing with me and who knows...it just might help. I hope it does as i cant take the nightmares much longer, or the voices...its not like random scary voices telling me to do things but its my kids calling me or my mother yelling out my name...it really shakes me to my core. Jasper has been helping with it though. he cant read me yet, as far as my different body vibrations and to react without he asking him to but he does do what i need him to and when i need him to and it still makes a difference.
Ill be taking my walk soon and hope to work in some jogging as well, Jasper makes a great partner for this and we are doing our first 5k this month. Im very excited about it, its been a goal of mine for years and im finally getting a chance to do it.
Not too busy of a day today, just doing the normal things and working in more writing and hopefully some crochet as i need to get some things posted on Etsy again. Im wanting to finish my shell pattern afghan and do a popcorn stitch one to post as well. I havent sold any of my crochet stuff in quite a while and need to get things selling, as long as getting my writing selling once i get something finished. I figure if im doing novellas instead i can probably get one out by the end of the month on amazon...
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