Book ***Possible Trigger****

So im working on my book today, or trying to...Ive had a late start to the day and I have a Jasper, one of my dogs, whining and carrying on. I dont know what his problem is or what he needs. Ive taken him out twice, fed him, then we played and did a bit of training so hes been fairly active for being awake only about two hours.

Anyway, my issue is that im starting my book over and doing it in novellas instead and the beginning can go one of two ways and the way im doing it right now may just be too honest about my thoughts and feelings right now. Ive always poured myself into my writing and hold nothing back, which is a good thing and in the past ive been complimented on the fact that i tend to say what others would or could not. Problem is it has a situation in it that im still thinking over in my head of how to handle...not a bad thing but kind of unique when it comes to me. Whats worse is i can try to write it all out for the book while im working it in my head but it may take so many directions and im afraid it wont make sense to the readers. Oh well, Ill just see what happens and how it goes...I just hope it turns out good.

 Other than that life is going well, i have things coming up im looking forward to. Also as anyone who knows me knows how i am about my dogs, im kind of an obsessive dog parent who puts them before anything else but im my own defense they are Service Dogs and there have been many times that Bones has saved my life and Jasper is in training for just that...and he helped me with a panic attack last night...i know at the time i didnt tell the complete truth about the attack. When questioned i said i didnt know what caused it...Then later on i admitted it was something in the movie we were watching...It was what one of the characters said, it was the same thing my father said to me when he wanted me to take my clothes off for him. Ill never forget those words and i dont think they will ever not make me shake to my core.  Im doing okay today with it but i really panicked and had to have Jasper do DPT(deep pressure therapy) for a few minutes. I still today have those words going through my head but im able to stay calm while i process the thoughts of why i still let this bother me 20 years later...