Sometimes I wonder how I sleep like I do when I have such horrible night terrors. Of course, I used to have Bones here to wake me from them but now that hes retired and living elsewhere thats not the case. I need to figure out how to train Jasper to wake me from them.
The one last night, or the main one I should say, had my mother and son, along with some old neighbors in it. I believe my sister was in it too. This time no one was trying to kill me at least but the arguing and fighting was violent. My son was still really young, maybe 6 or 7 years old and my daughter wasnt there, not sure why. Mom was gone for the evening and we were living in my old apartment. Teresa was there and we were cleaning and rearranging things because her and her sons were going to move in with us. Her and i were getting along fine and i dont remember the details of what started the argument with my son but he started screaming at me and called me a "Bitch", then ran off to his room.
Mom got back a few hours later and I started explaining things and of course like always it was my fault. Then Dawn, my sister, started in on me and the 3 of us were throwing things, screaming and i was being accused of being the bad person in the situation.
Gee, this is sounding like my real life. And I wonder why I dont have them in my life right now.
I dont remember how the dream ended and that really sucks but I dont...
I do think this stems from the fact that ive been wanting to talk to my mother since before Thanksgiving and Ive tried to call many times but get no answer and she never calls. Theres no answering machine to leave a message on so Im just out...
Maybe someday things will change but I think for now Im just back to square one with her and that means she is out of my life yet again...
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