As i was watching one of my favorite shows today they mentioned that one of the patients was a baby who was born with its organs on the outside and was 2 days post op from having it fixed. It got me thinking, if only they had had that kind of medicine back in 1976. i had a brother that was born a year before me, or well they actually couldnt tell the sex but i always felt it was a brother. He was born 3 months early and with all of his organs on the outside of his body. He is the only full blooded sibling that i have, all the others are halves, step or adopted, not to play down their roles by any means but it would be nice to have a brother or sister with the exact same parents as myself.
Thinking about this also brings out anger in me, anger at my dad. About 8 years ago my mother had me call him to see if he still had the death certificate from the baby and he didnt even remember it being born, claimed that the baby, my brother didnt exist when i know better, i have been to his grave, i have seen the tears in my mothers eyes on his birthday every year, i know he was real but my fathers memory is so messed up by the anurism and Alzheimers that he has no memory of it. When i told my mother what he said she was truly saddened , she felt betraid by him, that such a tragic memory he couldnt remember.
Then i wonder if he had been born okay, or if they could have corrected what was wrong, would i have been born? Mom had her tubes tied when i was born, which came undone at one point but thats a whole different story of its own and a painful one for me.
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